Date Matched: 6 April 2016
Ethnicity: Australian
Age: 32
Date Met: 13 April 2016
Icebreaker: Him
Icebreaking Message: “Hi ____ 🙂 How are you enjoying Tasmania so far?”
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This Match was one of those down to earth guys I enjoy talking to on Tinder whenever I can. He was a breath of fresh air compared to some of the less genuine types I came across. I especially liked that he started conversation with an open ended question.
He seemed like a blokey bloke in his pictures. He had thick eyebrows and heaps of facial hair with a boyish grin and a chest full of hair that seemed to say to the world that he’s a man’s man with no effeminate nonsense about him. He had the stock standard dude shots of him posing on a motorbike, in front of a fire truck, playing golf, and cuddling with a dog. I pictured him to be the type of man with a deep husky voice and a medium build.
He was a decent conversationalist. We chatted about my experiences in Tasmania and how I had originally started out on the island dairy farming out in the sticks and was now trying to start up a life in Launceston. He told me how he had grown up in Launceston and lived in Tasmania his whole life. He had studied at the University of Tasmania and now had a successful career working with computers in software engineering and web development
After chatting about ourselves and getting to know each other casually, he randomly asked me why I was on Tinder and what I was looking for. I answered him honestly and explained my situation. I was a traveler on a Working Holiday visa that was expiring in 3 and a bit months and I wasn’t sure if I was going to extend it for a second year. I had also come out of a serious relationship a couple months ago where kids and marriage were discussed. I wasn’t in a position to offer a serious relationship and I wasn’t looking for a hook-up. I genuinely wanted to make friends and have amazing memories and experiences with interesting people from Tinder.
He seemed relieved by my response. Like me, he wasn’t in a position to jump into anything serious as he was also fresh out of a long term relationship. He didn’t reveal too much about it, other than it lasted three years and eventually turned toxic leaving him emotionally drained. It made things easier and more agreeable once we established that we both were coming from similar situations and had mutual expectations.
As we continued chatting, I told him of my plan to stay in Launceston for as long as possible. I absolutely adored the city with its stunning Cataract Gorge, Tamar Valley, and old European style buildings and parks. I had a part time job waitressing and I was confident that somehow I could find a second job to pull me through. I was so sure of myself, that I decided to try and find a room to rent in a flat share and go from there. The rates in Launceston were ridiculously cheap for Australia, with rooms in a share-house around the CBD and surrounding suburbs ranging from $95-150 per week. I was making just enough to cover those costs so it seemed manageable to pay that rate while looking for a second job.
As the weekend rolled around, like a typical dude Tindering on a weekend, he asked me what I was up to. I told him how I had just checked into a hostel for the week. My Couchsurfing host had his spare room taken over by an Air BNB booking and there was no way in hell I was going to go back to Date #17’s share-house. I was on the hunt for a flatmate and was scouring the listings on Gumtree and Flatmates.com.au, telling my Match about my struggles to find a decent furnished room. To my astonishment, this Match offered a room with a bed that was available in his current share-house. We would have to meet in person, of course, before it became a solid offer. I asked him the stock standard questions, the location: Newstead, cost of rent: $120 per week, not including bills, flatmates: him and his good mate.
Although it seemed a bit unorthodox and out of the ordinary to find a flatmate on Tinder, I wasn’t completely opposed to the idea. The last share-house I had lived in, back in Canada, I had found through Couchsurfing, although in that instance it was through a female acquaintance and not some random dude I had never met before on a dating app that was developing a notorious reputation worldwide as a “hook-up app”.
I was keen to meet up with him and his flatmate in person to see if we could mesh and get on. We decided to meet on a Wednesday as I didn’t have anything on that night and being in the middle of the week, it seemed fitting to go out and be more social. He chose to meet at the Cock’n’Bull pub on Wellington St. I had never been there before but had walked past several times and was curious about what it was like inside. I was keen on the idea of meeting in a relaxed setting at a quaint British pub, having a casual night over a pint and a pub meal. It helped that there would be a third person there instead of just a one-on-one.
At this point in time, things were becoming more intense between Date #21 and I. We were meeting up every day we were free. Feelings were developing and we were starting to act as if we were a genuine couple. I eventually caved and told him about the Tinder blog and how I was still meeting other people from the app to get writing material for this project. He was surprisingly cool about everything. He knew that we weren’t an official couple and he would be relocating in a few weeks to Sydney, so he didn’t have the right to restrict me from carrying on with my project. However, when I told him about this particular Tinder date, where I would be meeting with two guys who might potentially become my roommates, he felt slightly intimidated by the whole thing.
I told him that he had nothing to worry about. I had to scope out all of my possible options, as there weren’t many, being a city of only 80,000 people and all. It was simply for writing’s sake to mix up the blog a bit, nothing more.
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Walking to the pub that night, I felt slightly overwhelmed and a touch guilty. I had to remind myself of why I was doing this social/blogging experiment and that it wouldn’t hurt to meet a new person from Tinder to add another story to the blog.
Being only two and a half weeks fresh from spending several months living in regional Australia, I was beyond excited to have my farm days behind me and be in a city again, albeit a small city, and have experiences going out to bars and restaurants wearing pretty clothes I hadn’t worn for some time. I put on my best make-up and perfume and donned a white lacy frock I got from Valley Girl , with a pearl necklace and my orange Etam coat. I was worried that I might be a touch overdressed for a week night. I shrugged it off and decided I was in the city now, surely it wouldn’t be the only one dressed like this.
I walked down the quiet city streets and no one was dressed like me. I felt I had made a mistake in dressing too fancy. It was too late to turn back and change, lest I be rude and show up super late, all in the name of trying to look pretty but casual at the same time.
I felt awkward walking into the pub, where everyone was dressed casually. I found my Match sitting at a table with his mate. They were dressed in jeans and cotton t-shirts. Compared to everyone else in the pub, there was no doubt I was the most overdressed in the room. As I introduced myself to my Tinder Match and his mate, I was a bit taken aback as I found him to be different from the impression built in my head. I pictured a husky-voiced burly manly man; what I got in real life was this smaller framed man with a soft voice. His mate was this massive guy with an eyebrow piercing who looked like he could be a bouncer/football player. He later confirmed my suspicions when he told me that he had lived in the States for a few years playing NCAA Football. They both had the same name, which gave me one less name to remember.
They were friendly and easy to chat with over pints. As we looked through the pub menu we were sussing each other out for roommate-esque qualities through conversation. No one had special diets and they were relieved that I wasn’t vegetarian/vegan as I ordered roast of the day for dinner. I talked about roommates I had in the past and their traits and what I liked and didn’t like in a roommate. We all seemed to be on the same page, which was assuring. We liked living in places that weren’t too messy but not so clean that you would be afraid to touch anything. They were social guys and didn’t mind having people over. On weekends they would host poker nights with all their mates. I was keen on having social roommates so it was assuring that they were fine with hosting company.
As we ate our pub meals I got to know these two men with the same name a bit better. The two of them both worked in software development and had known each other since university. They had been living together as roommates off and on for the past three years. They knew each other well and were so comfortable around each other. They told me of one time when they went looking at a house together and the landlord assumed that they were a gay couple. They didn’t bother correcting the landlord and played along with it, later having a laugh about it. They were funny and both had a sense of humour that was infectious, I was beside myself with laughter at all the jokes they cracked throughout the night.
Once we finished and paid for our separate tabs, they drove me down to their place in Newstead. The house had a relaxed vibe to it that made me feel comfortable and at ease. The kitchen was large and modern with plenty of benchtop space. They had a dining table and a shelf full of liquor. The living room had a large TV with gaming consoles and comfy couches to sprawl on. They showed me their bedrooms and then led me to the available room. There wasn’t much furniture in the room aside from a nightstand with a mattress on a box spring with no bed frame. Despite the room being sparsely furnished, I felt like the share-house was everything I was looking for. It was a good area close to the shops and the CBD and it would be within walking distance to work.
I especially felt relaxed and at ease with these slightly nerdy guys, who reminded me of my computer-obsessed brother back home. Being there made me think back to the last share-house I had lived in back in Canada, where I was the only girl with 4 other male roommates. It was a place I was fond of and had enjoyed living exclusively with males. I was eager to be the only woman in the house again and this opportunity seemed perfect.
Once the house tour was over, the guys offered me a beer. The three of us sat on the large couch drinking and chatting. It felt like I was exchanging stories with good friends from back home. The one moment of conversation that still sticks with me was when we started talking about all the amazing national parks and hiking opportunities in Tasmania I was keen on experiencing. My Match then talked about how dangerous hiking can be in Tasmania. His ex-girlfriend was a serious hiker and was out with one of her best friends the month before in South-West National Park. Her best friend was wearing the tracking chip and slipped off a cliff and died. It was the most chilling story I had ever heard. I later found out that the story was true and had made the news.
As I was sitting there chatting with these two guys with the same name, I got a call from Date #21 asking how the house tour was going. I told him that it was fine. He then asked what I was up to and if I was planning on hanging around there for much longer. Since I had finished looking around the place, I didn’t feel the need to stick around anymore. He offered to pick me up and I didn’t object. I said my goodbyes to my Match and his mate and thanked them for the evening out and for showing me around their place.
It felt a bit strange walking out of their house to meet up with another person from Tinder. It was like I was developing an addiction of some sort, where the only people I hung out with outside of work were men from Tinder, as I didn’t know anyone in town and had no other source of friends. It felt strange to potentially live with someone from Tinder while going out with another person from Tinder. Could it be considered trashy and in poor taste? I was seriously considering living with these two guys as they were easy to get on with. They were nice genuine guys but there were no feelings of chemistry or sexual tension. I felt like I was just hanging out with guy friends and nothing more. But then I thought about what would happen if I brought home Date #21 for a sleepover and the potential awkwardness of it all. The scenarios were running through my head as I shuffled out through the options in my head.
Has anyone else ever been approached to move in with a Tinder Match? Surely I can’t be the only one who has found a roommate/flatting opportunity from Tinder… I would love to hear your stories in the comments section below.
Confessions of a Serial Tinderer 