Date #17

Date Matched: 5 March 2016

Ethnicity: Australian

Age: 23

Date Met: 13 March 2016

Icebreaker: Him

Icebreaking Message: “Are you enjoying your farm work?”

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When I first came upon his profile I could see that he was a typical Aussie bloke. There were pictures of him in a footie jersey with his mates. There was also a picture of him in his cap and gown getting his degree, a sign that he was educated and literate, always promising. He had dark hair and light eyes, always an interesting genetic combination, so I swiped right.

We got to talking about my farm job and what I was doing for work. When I told him that I was doing dairy farming in Dairy Plains, he asked which farm I was on. Oddly enough he knew the farm. While he was in university he had a side job supplying feed mixes for various dairy farms in the area, including the one I worked at. It’s crazy how country Australians seem to know each other or at least have a couple degrees of separation between each other.

He grew up on a beef farm in Ridgley, Tasmania, close to Burnie, so he knew a lot about cows. Although I didn’t give that much of a crap about cows and farming, it was my livelihood and in a way, I had to learn to care enough about cows to get through the day. This Tinder Match was comforting to talk to because he knew what dairy farms are like and farm life in general. At the end of the day when I would be venting about work, I turned to him because he understood what I was going through and his virtual company was appreciated for that reason.

This Date and I were getting on well. We even called each other once on the phone before we met because we both were curious about each other’s accents. He definitely had a slight country/bogan accent that you hear more often in rural areas rather than cities. It’s certainly not an accent that I would be keen on hearing the rest of my life, but with this project, I had to keep myself open to a variety of people and situations.

We decided to meet up on a weekend that best suited both of our schedules. We settled for the long weekend in mid-March. He was working at an accounting firm so he only had weekends off. I had to work the morning shift on Sunday, which goes from 4am and ends around 9am. I had Monday off and it was a public holiday so the plan was that he would pick me up from the farm Sunday afternoon after my morning shift and we would spend the day out in Launceston. I would spend the night at his place and he would sleep on the couch and I would get his bed. We would spend Monday together and then he would drop me off back at the farm later that arvo (‘Strayan slang for the evening).

So that morning I got up at 3:30am for my 4am shift, I was an absolute zombie and had to drink a cup of coffee to get through it. The milking took forever that day so I finished my shift around 10:30am and texted him to pick me up from the farm at 12:30pm. After the milking, I had a long shower to rid myself of the nasty stench of cow. I was excited about being back in a city again and wearing cute dressier clothes so I put on make-up and picked out a dress to wear, a silk strapless number from Gypsy Global Village that I bought for less than half its original price during the closing out sale of Offshores in Edmonton (RIP!). I wore my blue knit Tom Tailor sweater over top with nylons and my fancy and expensive black Edward Meller shoes I bought at David Jones in Melbourne and my black leather Sam Edelman purse I bought at Winners. I packed up my backpack with an outfit to sleep in, and an outfit for Monday, as well as my basic toiletries and necessities.

Just before my Date came he suggested I add him on Facebook, I thought it was a bit strange of a request but I added him. Literally a few minutes before he arrived I did a small stalk sess of his Facebook photos and noted that he wasn’t as beefy as I originally thought he would be. I expected some medium-built dude but when I saw full-body pics, I noticed that he was quite lanky and had long skinny legs.

When he arrived at the farm he called me to announce he had arrived. I was in panic mode at this point because I couldn’t find my camera anywhere. He asked if he could come in but I said no because my room was a mess and I didn’t think it was a good idea to bring just anyone in. I never found my camera so I gave up and grabbed my things and went to his car. He had a tiny forest green coloured car, it was such a student car.

When I met him he was wearing white sunglasses but I could see right away that he had terrible acne scars. I have never had a date with such bad acne scarring as this guy. I know this sounds bad, but I would like my future boyfriend to have somewhat nice skin. I have soft even skin that I got from my father (Thanks Dad!) and I tend to go for guys with similar skin. This Date’s skin didn’t exactly fit the bill.

I knew right away that this Date and I didn’t have any serious potential once I met him in person. He was indeed skinny and lanky in person and slightly gangly in how he moved and it wasn’t appealing to me. But up to this point, he was a nice guy to talk to so I figured we could have a fun time hanging out and take it easy as friends.

I know I sound slightly bitchy for friend-zoning someone at first sight, but when you’re a mature woman who’s dated a few men in her life, you just know instinctively whether a man is boyfriend material or not.

So when he drove me to Launceston he decided that we ought to take the scenic route down Meander Valley Road. There was this takeaway place in Westbury that used to be the place everyone had to stop at before the Bass Highway was built. The place was called Andy’s and he swore they had the best pies and it had been ages since he had one. Since I am a pie snob, having spent over seven months in Regional Australia, I was keen to try it out. Sadly now that Andy’s was no longer this busy hub due to a much faster highway completely bypassing it, the quality of the pies were sub-par much to his disappointment and mine. This date was a sweetheart though and paid for the pies, which was nice.

From Launceston, we went to his place to drop off my backpack. He showed me his house that he shared with two female roommates that was close to the CBD. It was a lovely place and you could tell that there was a feminine influence in the décor of the house. He offered me a glass of water, which was accommodating of him, but he only filled up the glass three-quarters full, which I found off-putting. I usually fill up a glass of water full until there is maybe a finger width of space left.

His room was messy in a way that reminded me of how my brother keeps his room. He also had a slightly slanted bedroom floor. He demonstrated this by rolling his can of spray deodorant on it, which rolled down perfectly from one end of the floor to the other. The house was a ten-minute walk to his work in the CBD but he didn’t like living so close to the CBD and would prefer living further out where it’s more peaceful and not so close to the action and drive into work. He then proceeded to tell me about this block he bought in one of those cookie-cutter suburbs that’s further out from the city that will be developed sometime later this year.

As a girl who has always lived inner city and is happy living inner city and would rather die than live in a cookie-cutter suburb, I knew that this date was a bit too country bumpkin for me and we were not on the same wavelength. He also was the type of person who played it safe in life and made investments in property and stocks so that he could have a safety net for a future wife and kids. If I was the settling type I would have dug it, but I’m a travelling nomad living off the seat of my pants type of person and not keen to settle.

I needed someone to travel the world with and accompany me to all these crazy outlandish countries that no one has ever heard of or knows much about. I could just tell he wasn’t the type of guy who would be into that.

After showing me his sharehouse, he offered to show me his work offices, which I thought was kind of strange but I decided, why not? Plus I was curious to see what sort of office space he had. It was an open office plan. He showed me his desk, which didn’t have a lot on it since he was switching desks the next week, and showed me the other desks where some of his other co-workers sat and what they usually do at work.

I’m not sure why he brought me to his office. It was pretty boring not going to lie. Maybe he thought we would have had hot office sex or something… Either way, it was stupid and for those of you guys reading this, don’t bring a chic to your workplace on the first date, there’s no reason for it until you get to know her better and you have gone on a few dates.

After the office tour, he showed me around the CBD. It was a Sunday and a public holiday with good weather so the city centre was dead. I wanted to go to Cocobean because I missed high-quality artisan chocolate but it was closed when we got there. The tour around the CBD didn’t take too long because Launceston is a tiny city with only 103,000 inhabitants, so there’s not much to it. When I saw the size of this city I found it ridiculous that this Date thought that living so close to the CBD was too hectic and crazy for him. This city is so tame and relaxed, even when I’ve seen it in “rush hour” it’s nowhere near as bad as the cities on the mainland.

He took me to City Park because he knew that I wanted to go there. It was a lovely park but I didn’t linger too long at any of the sites he showed me. We went to the duck pond, the yellow house full of plants, and visited the monkeys. I took note of all these lovely places but I didn’t want to stay anywhere too long because I didn’t want to linger in such a way that he might get the idea to move in closer and schmooze on me. But in my head, I kept a mental note of these places and wondered what it would be like to come here on my own or with someone I was more into.

After visiting the park he took me to see the Cataract Gorge. Again I didn’t linger anywhere too long. He suggested going on the chairlift that takes you over the gorge. It’s a cute and intimate ride but you can’t go on it with just anyone. I declined the offer and suggested we keep walking.

We walked from the First Basin across the gorge over to the Gorge Restaurant and the rotunda. It was a lovely walk and there were heaps of wallabies and peacocks flitting about, which made the experience feel more exotic. I kept walking and exploring further so I suggested going up this path that weaved up the gorge. It was enjoyable for me but my date was only just keeping up. He was astonished by how fit I was. I didn’t think that being able to hike up a hill at a somewhat mid-tempo was anything to rave about, but he thought otherwise. He chalked it up to the fact that I was constantly doing physical work at the farm. I was “work fit” as he called it. Yup, too fit for him.

When we got fairly high up the hill we realized that we were now on a road where cars were able to drive past. We found this sign just off the road and looked at where exactly we were. My Date noted that we were getting close to Trevallyn and we were going a bit too far away from where we parked. He suggested turning back and going back down the way we came. I thought that that was a lame idea and suggested that we take this narrow gravel path that ran parallel to the hill. Even though my shoes were not equipped to walk on such a trail, I loved the ruggedness of the experience. I felt like I was back in nature and not in the middle of a city.

We had a lovely time walking and talking. My Date was so impressed by the amount of walking I was doing on uneven ground in black dress shoes and how fit I was. I was impressed by the amount of history he knew, considering he studied commerce. I told him about some of the courses I took in history and he actually was able to keep up with some of the events I talked about. He had hands down the most impressive historical knowledge out of any guy I met so far on Tinder.

He told me how he never tried weed before in his life. As someone who loves a good joint every now and then I was a little turned off by that fact. Perhaps some of you would call me a druggie or someone who has gone too far into the dark side. But honestly, I like weed and I want to be with someone who enjoys it too or at least has tried it once or is at least willing to try it in the future. It was obvious too that this Date had never done it before, he was just so dweeby in how he acted. He reminded me of myself before I tried pot when I was 20 and had all these apprehensions about it because it’s viewed so negatively in society. This Date was just a bit too much of a pansy for me and his anti-weed banter was cramping my style.

Another red flag was when I asked him about the last time he had a girlfriend. Instead of telling me about the last girlfriend he had, which was what I asked him specifically about, he proceeded to tell me about every single girlfriend he’s ever had in his life. It was exhausting listening to him go on down his mental list of past girlfriends. If someone you’re on a date with gives you their entire dating history and you didn’t ask for it, that’s usually a sign that they feel they need to make themselves look more desired than they really are. If he was a secure guy he would have answered my question plain and simple, but no, he had to go on and on about every single girl who was ever interested in him.

Anyway… I digress, we eventually found our way back down the hill and we coincidentally made it onto the path that leads to the suspension bridge. We walked on the bridge and from there had this amazing view of the gorge. It was beautiful. My Date thought I would be freaked out by walking on this wobbly bridge that slightly swung the closer you walked to the middle of it, but I kept my cool for the most part. Again I didn’t linger anywhere too long and just kept a move on. In my head, I thought of how lovely it would be to come back to the gorge either by myself or with someone special.

After walking around the Gorge we went to the movie rental shop since we decided before we met, that we would pick out a movie to watch before we went to bed. At first, he decided that I pick a movie but I insisted that we pick a movie together. Turns out we are both indecisive people. After milling about for some time I chose the Importance of Being Earnest, I read the play for a university-level English Literature course and loved it, he never read it, and I was dying to see the film version with Reese Witherspoon. He chose the Australian classic, The Man from Snowy River, based on the poem written by the Australian bush poet Banjo Paterson.

But before we watched the movies he suggested getting dinner. Before we met we both agreed that we love steak so he suggested we go out for steak when we meet up. I was beyond excited to get some steak in me. So he took me to this restaurant on Seaport Boulevard called Levee Food Co. The restaurant is a mid-range establishment. The staff weren’t the most accommodating and it took a while for them to seat us.

Once we were seated my date seemed to be all whingey about the possibility of having to pay for two steaks and suggested that perhaps one of us get pizza and the other one get steak. I found it a bit strange since we had agreed for some time that we would both be enjoying a steak when we got around to going to a steak restaurant. In the end, I decided to be gracious and not drain his pockets too much so I chose a pizza that had pieces of eye fillet on it, which they so affectionately called Luv Me Tender and he got himself a steak, and no we did not share our food. We also had a Levee pizza as an appetizer, his suggestion not mine, so by the end of this dining experience, I was pizza-d out.

After dinner, we went to a BWS Bottleshop to pick up some wine to enjoy at home, while watching the movies. With two bottles of wine in tow, we went back to his place. We decided to watch The Importance of Being Earnest first. I was a little nervous about the film choice. Not every straight man gets excited by the possibility of being strapped in to watch an Oscar Wilde play on film. But this Date was surprisingly cool about it and he actually liked the film and found the humour funny. Now I don’t know if it was the wine, actually, I’m 99% sure it was the wine, in my sedated state I let him come closer to me when he tried and we actually cuddled while watching this film. I was slightly drunk and I no longer cared about anything at this point. The whole time I thought of how much lovelier it would be if he was someone I was more into. But I chalked my indifference up to the fact that I was newly single and was learning how to get back into the game.

After the film, we went to bed because I was so exhausted from having been up since 3:30 that morning. He asked whether it was ok if he got into bed too. Again I was too sloshed and exhausted to care and we started kissing and doing things that I now regret very very VERY much. Anyway…

The sun came up the next day and this Date tried to cuddle me but I had my back turned to him the whole time. I couldn’t face him, I felt too ashamed. You could tell he was trying to get close to me and push his luck and hopefully have a repeat of last night, but I was sober now and was not having any of it. I got out of bed as quickly as I could and put some clothes on.

For breakfast, he made me pikelets (from pre-mixed batter in a carton) topped with raspberries, sliced-up banana, and maple syrup. He thought the maple syrup would remind me of home. It was a sweet thought but I rarely eat maple syrup, even in Canada, and maple syrup is produced on the opposite end of the country thousands of kilometres away from where I’m from.

After breakfast, we decided to watch The Man from Snowy River. It’s a classic Australiana film set in the Grampians. Once I watched this movie I no longer felt bad or embarrassed about picking out The Importance of Being Earnest to watch. The Man from Snowy River had some of the cheesiest shots I’ve ever seen in film and there were so many scenes that overplay the drama and intensity of a moment. I found it ridiculous that someone was that thick to put such terrible acting into a film. The dialogue was crap and I was baffled that a sequel was made of this film since the original was awful to begin with.

The movie was so boring that I actually fell asleep for a good twenty minutes. The only thing I liked was the gorgeous shots of the Grampians. Having lived near those mountains for a month, the Grampians will always have a soft spot in my heart and it was lovely to see them again on film. The lead actor Tom Burlinson also wasn’t too bad on the eyes with his blonde cowboyish good looks. The part where he finally kisses his love interest, played by Sigrid Thornton, and then the two of them romp around the hilltops of the Grampians on horseback was pretty cute. My Date groaned at it, “Oh god what a stupid scene” but I objected and said that it was lovely and sweet. But in my head, I thought how awesome it would be to be swept off my feet onto a horse by a cute blonde Australian like Tom Burlinson. One can only hope…

Once the movie was done, my Date and I got ready for our pre-planned trip to a vineyard in the Tamar Valley because I told him before we met that I wanted to do a trip out there. So I went and did my make-up and put on my cheap but flattering navy H&M dress with flower-patterned tights, with my expensive black Edward Meller dress shoes and my black leather Sam Edelman purse. I packed all of my things up as well and was happy to be out of the house and one step closer to my own room on the farm.

For lunch, we went to Josef Chromy. It took us ages to find a park, it was so busy, we almost turned around and went somewhere else. Luckily there was overflow parking across the street. I was so happy we went. Everyone at the restaurant was dressed up so I didn’t feel out of place. It took some time for us to get a seat but we were shown to a large lounge chair to wait at while a table was sorted out for us, which was much better than what Levee Food Co. did for us when they merely made us wait at the bar. We were offered a table out on the verandah. It was a lovely warm day so it was perfect.

I ordered a glass of Sekt to start. My date just had whiskey. I thought it was a bit strange that he didn’t drink any wine since we were at a winery, but oh well. We thought of just getting a cheese platter, but our server told us that we had to order mains since the cheese platter is served at the café and we could have just gone there instead. It was no trifling matter though, I had my eye on the wallaby bolognese and was keen to try it, so I ordered that. My Date just ordered some scallops. We decided that we would have the cheese platter but would have it as a dessert. When the food came out it was in small servings, which is typical of a fine dining establishment. You could literally see my Date gulp in horror as he saw how small the portions were. It was clear that he wasn’t used to this type of dining experience. I told him not to worry about it, we already agreed that I was going to pay anyway.

My wallaby bolognese

While I ate I ordered a Gewürtztraminer and had it with my meal. Both the Sekt and the Gewürtztraminer were fantastic and if the bottles weren’t $25 a pop, I would have bought one. The bolognese was fantastic and it was my first experience eating Wallaby. The cheese platter we ate at the end was divine. I wasn’t all that hungry at the end of the meal, but it looked too good to not fit it in. We had Camembert cheese and it came with these lovely crackers and an assortment of fresh and dried fruit. The server we had was also excellent. He was young with long blond curly hair that was put up in a ponytail and he rocked this sick pair of Doc Martens, and the service he gave was top-notch. I was having the time of my life, enjoying this luxurious fine dining experience and I was loving it. I felt so in my element but my Date looked slightly uncomfortable.

My glass of Sekt

Sure enough, when the bill came around, $100 in total, I paid for it and my Date didn’t even try and stop me. But I didn’t care, I was making good money at a dairy farm at the time and I was happy to be out at a luxurious vineyard close to a city rather than in the middle of nowhere. I was over the moon with joy.

At the end of our meal we had a walk around the vineyard and it was so lovely.

View of the vineyard from the restaurant

Josef Chromy restaurant on the other side of the pond

Visiting this vineyard was certainly the highlight of my weekend and I was super happy to be taken out here. Once we finished walking around the vineyard my Date and I made our way back to the farm. On the drive back I told him how I was fresh out of a relationship and that I was using my time in Tasmania to reconnect with myself and figure out what type of person I want to be in the future. I also stressed that I needed this alone time and I was in no place to seriously date someone or be in a relationship for a while. I gave him this speech to make it clear that I was not interested in taking things to the next level. He seemed cool with it. When he dropped me off I thanked him for the lovely weekend and I gave him a hug and a kiss and went on my way back towards my own room.

I was so happy and excited to see my own bed and to have my own space again. Usually, when I feel that way after seeing a guy, that’s usually a bad thing for him. I just was not into him at all and I wasn’t feeling it. For the first couple of days I didn’t hear from him so I assumed he wasn’t feeling it either so I was over the moon happy thinking that this indifferent parting was mutual. Alas, I received a text from him. But I didn’t message him as much as I did before we met. I had to cut my losses and move on to other Tinder men to date. I had a blog to maintain after all.

Later that week he texted me and asked me if I missed Launceston at all. I replied and said that it was a nice city and I’m sure I would go back there again sometime. He then suggested that I come over again. I told him that if I did I wouldn’t want to spend the night because I didn’t want to be in a compromising position again. It was after I sent that message that I never heard from him again.

Later that month I did lose my farm job due to overstaffing and not based on my performance and I got into contact with this Date. I needed a place to crash for a few days and this Date surprisingly offered his space for a bit. I did stay on a spare mattress on his floor for five days in my first week in Launceston while I job searched, so that was cool.

Tinder helped me find a place to stay so I didn’t have to waste money on a hostel. At first, I was slightly pissed about paying $100 for lunch at Josef Chromy but this Date did save me that amount of money by letting me crash at his for a bit, so it wasn’t so bad in retrospect. This Date and I are still friends I guess. We don’t really talk however if I see him around in Launceston I say hi. He’s a nice person and he has a lot of good qualities and I’m sure he’ll be a fantastic candidate for a lady looking to settle down and start a family, I just know in my heart that he and I are too different to even consider wasting more time together. I wish him the best and I do appreciate the lovely weekend he gave me because that in itself was a lovely adventure and it will be an interesting travel memory to look back to.

Have any of you had a weekend getaway with someone you just met on Tinder? I can’t be the only one who’s done it. I would love to read your stories in the comments section below.